2009年10月12日 星期一

Fair

Don't want to think about it
Don't want to talk about it

I'm just so sick about it
Just so confused about it
Feeling the blues about it
Can you tell me is this fair?

2009年7月15日 星期三

Mercy


How can you keep specialize in the way you would like to go ?
Deepen what you really love to have ?
No one know is it the right choice ?
Yeah , give it a try , but way too difficult to do for me.
Yeah. Get a better life in your own way . Celebrate others people lives and create mine

You nerver know .
Way too difficult to guess .
Way too difficult .
Way too difficult .

University is the last transfer terminal .
People have their last call for what they go .
It is just not enough time to pack all things for me .
Some people made it good .Some people made it better .
I am going to bet on my own .


<> soundtrack <<>>

Oh it's a mystery to me.
We have a greed, with which we have agreed...
and you think you have to want more than you need...
until you have it all, you won't be free.

Knowledge vs Grade ?
Friends vs Social Networking ?
Love vs Desire indugence vs Exit ?
Inspiring vs Unclear ?
Simple vs Easy ?
Certifications vs Labels ?

"I hope you're not lonely, without me.
I hope you're not angry, if I disagree."

Anyway,make it mine do my stuff.

I have to write it down
Because I am afraid one day I would not hear my own voice ever again.


2009年6月21日 星期日

Learning

Is Lying a way to Escape ?

There are things that we do not able to understand .
However , I beleive most of the things can be explained.
Yes. I beleive that.

But do you really want the truth ?
Truth is harsh in some way because you will see something you scare , you are anxious.

Why things which seemed very difficult to comprehend were labelled as inspiring ?
If some people commented my post difficult to understand
It is my fault of not written simple and concise.

All kinds of labels on the streets waiting people to pick and stick onto themselves .

Even books can be labels. Sometimes I see people carrying bags with empty spaces insists carrying their Law Books in hand.

Yes , with arguemts you may be able to defend yourself .
But somehow , you cannot convince ( or lie ? ) to all people .
I don't want labels. I need the real you behind the labels.
I just need the real you.

I always beleive it is unavoidable to cause some unintended offenses to be interesting.
Let me figure it out .

2009年5月26日 星期二

Don't know why

Once I said I will write much more frequently.
But I stopped for a long time writing down something.
It is because my language mastering ability is poor which I don't want to showing series of errors.
Writing should not be taken too casual.

I am now having workshops training until late June.
Groups and divided and learning inside a training room .
Some people said it is boring.
I did not attend the course very seriously.
Chatting around with people just like I am in secondary school time.
Though we need get up early, but I have funny feeling for this training

What that special ?
I wonder I feel comfortable with that .
Chatting , secret talks , borrowing things , listening attentively ......


What that special ?
It is because during the workshop
I feel like a student in a co-education school , which is............ I don't know what to say.
Funny, I guess.
.

2009年4月14日 星期二

Start from zero

當其他人都好像在努力為自己的大學生活去做很多的事時.
都現在我才了解到大學是什麼.
經過了中學,小學如坐電梯一樣的一直向上.到了大學,一下子自由起來.
要做什麼不是一下子想得到.
為了入名牌大學以為就可有美好前途.只就好像買了 Gucci 就自以為是有氣質.

這一刻我感到的是自己很不足.不是自卑.而是有太多不了解的事了.

"你不是這三年就這樣讀書吧?"
這是一個我不上 A 莊後, 一個上莊同我講的.
"你有沒想過大學是社會的縮影,總有一日你要學習."
這是一個我不上 B 莊後, 一個上莊同我講的.
"如果你是為了自己的話,對不起,上莊不適合你"
這是一個我不上 C 莊後, 一個上莊同我講的.

他們說的話都有他們的意思. 為社會做好準備是要的.
不過社會的現實不同大學的環境.
學會打射擊電子遊戲不一定就可以去打仗.
我沒有做全部大家認為要在大學要做的事.
只知道大家都有大家的學習方式.沒有好壞.只有適合與否.
只要不用一種 "等我塞錢入你袋" 的態度與我交談就可以了.

一個人的時間用在什麼地方是看得見的.
不一定是成績高低.不一定是外表好壞.

我相信是看得見的

2009年4月3日 星期五

Shining Aura

Examinations time table has out .
May 13 will be the last day for exams.
So close, there are only a month to grow. Lots of things need to finish.
And there are lots of thing I want to do.
Time is very limited. But that is not a bad thing , so we can priortise our time , and see what we value most in our heart.

Economics teaches us information cost is good to be zero.
But I think sometimes it is better to leave some layers so there will be areas for us to imagine.
If all things disclosed, that will definitely a boring situation.

Today was the Inter-hall dancing competition. I did take to look for some of them
Girls are pretty , I mean some . Costume are well-designed.
Dancing in the centre of the Haking Wong Podium, having glaced by thousands pairs of eyes.
Dancers must have a sudden impulse of self-confidence running through their bodies.
Being stared and became the centre of peoples' attentions is fascinating, right ?

Have you meet any odd guys ?
They also put themselves into the centre of attention.
But people don't yell for them , what they can recieve are ignorance.

Watching those stars really make us feel inferior.
But why bother? Maybe this is the time to create your own way of living.

Glad that I am not those popular people inside a group.
So I can meet people who are very interesting but are not shine because of others attention.
So I can get closer to them and have a real interaction.
So I can just reach them without serious of work to look through their shining auras.

2009年4月2日 星期四

Supply & Demand

Recently, I have skipped one of the assignments which contribute to 1% for a course.
In the past, I would tried hard to hand in assigments, finding source or do it myself.
But I skipped the assigments. In the past I would have handed them in , however I really find that assigment not quite meaningful but only to have a grade.
What do you think about it ?
Lazy ? Not working hard ? Eascape from challenge ?
There are so many interpretations for a single event. Just too many.
When I take a look to others , they are demanding they are not working hard enough.
They said they will find their dreams, make it to reality. They feel they have to change.
Those passion turns into quotations.,with different words but similar meaning.

Once I was a person claiming quotations to remind myself to improve.

Change.Change.Change. I have heard that so many time.
Be yourself. Be yourself. Be yourself . I have heard that so many time.
Work hard.Work hard. Work hard. I have heard that so many time.
I have found that encouraging people do not need to know that person.
But mere a quotations maybe enough
If you know a person can only give you a mere quotation to encourage you
Can you still be encouraged ?
If you hear a statement that can just be said by any people ,
Can you still be inspired ?

After the changing layout of facebook , there are so many news feed with thousands of quizzes.
I did not take them. But I have seen that they are all praising results.
Your IQ is high. You will earn a lot. You are a special one.
What does it mean ? Do you like them ?

I always hope to provide alternate way to think.
Trying to bring some discussions so we could learn and grow together.
But maybe not all people need them.
Maybe what they need is a simple add oil which can be supplied by almost anyone.
But maybe only ourself can solve our problems.
Maybe. I guess.

Change .
What change ? Change from where ? Why you want to change ?
What you want after change ?
Work hard.
Work hard for what ? Do the work really worth to devote so many energy to it ?
What will you really get to work hard ?
Be yourself.
What force you not allowing you to be yourself ? Who are you ? Do you know much about you ?

If I ask those question to a people who need help.
My questions definitely a bad choice to encourage.

2009年3月23日 星期一

Songs

I have listened to many artists songs during the last few years. I have listened from Hip Hop to classical in the past. Eminem , 50 cents , Justin Timberlake , Mika , Akon , John Mayer , Westlife, Simple Plan , ColdPlay, U2 , Keane , Jonas Brothers. Also I listended to many Canto-pop songs which are popular and greatest hits .I tried to listen as many so to search for something I really like.
Finally after these long long period of searching with my ears.
I have found the one I really like so much .

That is Jack Johnson and Jason Mraz. First , Jack Johnson , then Jason Mraz.

I once like Westlife. But not that indulge to their music though I love the Love Album.
I once like Mika , however , I just like a few songs in the whole albums.
I like Eason Chan , but his songs always make me emotional in some way
I once like U2. But I have to look through the lyrics before listening.

Their songs not simply love indulgence or expressing of regrets of concern. I feel a sense of kids like but deep understanding of feels. I find meanings from their songs . Their songs are a major parts in my MP3 players.
Finding singers sharing or expressing something you are thinking is just...... good.

Take some time. See whether you will like it .

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LHnJGXwr-HU - Jason Mraz - I'm Yours

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2UbT3U-fQt4 - Jack Johnson - Angel +Better Together





2009年3月21日 星期六

The way

Just read some people texts.
There are so many texts or notes in blogs and facebooks. Difficult or Easy. Simple or Detailed. Rational or Emotional. Happy or Unhappy. Reports or Imaginations.
Writing is good. A good way to express. But when you write what you really think. You have to take a risk. That is you are going to disclose yourself, unless you are going to fake it.
I think I have been affected by all sorts of events and people. Parents, teachers, books I have read, friends. past expereicnes. All through the way I couldn't choose but just being affected barely.Free writing is good. When I write something down, it becomes more clear of what I think. I don't mind to say something bad which is what I think. I cannot just think as the way you think. There must be divergence sometimes, I guess.
Writing needs practices so I could find my way reach my feelings. I seldom detailing all the events which have happened, but afterwards , I did write my thinking down. Cause if I don't write it down, they maybe just dissappeared in some way. You have the right to say what you want to say. You use it for your good will.
For your own good.
Yes, your own good.
For yourself.

2009年3月20日 星期五

First order

First day as being a tram party coordinator. It is much more fun than I expected.
On Tuesday, I recieved the first training by another part time who is studying journalism in HKU . So from her saying and sharing , I expect this would be a good job though having slaries not as many as being a tutor.
Today customers are French, which I find their Englsih difficult to hear. Hearing people speaking language which I really don't know make me feel weird. But I did chat with them during the two hours trip. Customers book the tram for many reasons. This time, it was a farewell party for one of the girl. This girl leaves Hong Kong later to New York for her career.Previously working in a French Bank ( I-Bank again !) She will work in headquarters in New York coming soon.
They actually did ask me to join their party , though I answer I better not. I can just sit there and do nothing. But I did take the initiate to talk with them. Since this is a rare experience which cannot see all the time. I think I could do this part time job as joining a party. But maybe not this time.
Kitty, that HKU journalism girl said she did see celebrities or singers booking the tram sometimes. Let's see what will be the next customers for me.

2009年3月19日 星期四

Schedules Packing Choices.

Why there are so many assigments an projects ? Recently I have taken my third non-tuition part-time jobs. Schedules have packed quite fully. Currently I have courses much more related to Logistics, with less mathematical training which I cannot really apprenhend well. That would be good , suppose. However I feel my heart detached from the curriculum, I really cannot fully devoted to what the courses materials try to give me . All kind of business theories, technical training and analysis. I suppose to like it as being a science students. But my heart completely detached from it. Of course I strive for good grades, 4.0 , however I really find the curriculum hadn't nourish any my viewpoints about things and peoples. So, I used sources sometimes , so I can do something really meaningful to me. Is this thinking good ?
Today , a small event really bring me to think.
Edward Lam 林奕華 , at the end of the lessons talked with me. I have attended his lessosns since first semester , which I act as a helper for this semester course. Conversation as followed:

Edward: Are you Yeaer 1 student ?
Me : Yes, I am.
Edward : What are you study ? Comparative Literature ?
Me : ar ........ (I am happy as being seen as read a lot ,HA ) .... no , I am studying logistics.
Edward : I see ,those technical training one ?
Me : Yes. But I fell detached sometimes.
Edward : Hey , why don't you transfer ?
Me : Don't want to waste time ( And my AL grade definitely not allow me , HA )
Edward: Remember ,read more books and think more.
Me : Yes, definitely I will

Studying professionals training currculum definitely allow me to have career with better salaries. But at this moment, I really feel a sense of inadequate to train for suiting capitalistic things. Sever years of high schools for a placement in university. Three years of University life for career placement. Will this process miss something really important ?
There are many routes for planning University life. I find the major ones not really suit me . They are good to many people. But for me , I need another way for my University life.
At the end of the lectures , I went to Starburks. One of an E&F alumni approches and chat with me for 30 minutes. I don't know him before. But he shared with me the experiences about finance ( He is now working in I-bank ).This really a funny experience.
There are many ways to pack schedules. Some are suitable for A ,but not B. Some suit B but not C. There are much more choices to choose. I guess.

P.S.
There are always impulses to write things in my heart. So I think I will write more frequently.
I try my best not to make it too self-serving .

2009年2月14日 星期六

Sharing Song

太多的歌.太多的人.太多的情.
可是總有自己最喜歡的.

真心不真心 誰留神 哪個深深親吻
哪個體恤我 愛我最深交出最多 - 真心真意

如果這就是愛
  在轉身就該勇敢留下來 -如果愛

記得愛 所有幸福的片段 
所以才 一直忘記要離開 -記得愛


一世慶祝  整個地球上

億個背影但和你碰上 - 天下無雙

一路上夢想的櫥窗 誰憑勞力發亮
天未亮便在場 誰贈你勳章 炫耀你夢鄉 - 天使的禮物


如果寧靜中感到害怕 送我相擁有用嗎

會為我添上顧慮嗎 可安心嗎 - 想聽

別對我小心翼翼 別讓我看輕你
跟著我勇敢的走下去 別勸我回心轉意
這不是廉價的愛情 看著我對我說真愛我 - 還是會寂寞

世界這樣大而我而我只是隻小小小的螞蟻

但我要盡全力全力全力保護妳 - 可愛女人
Love Can Build A Bridge
Between Your Heart And Mine - Love can build a bridge - Westlife

It's not always easy
and sometimes life can be deceiving,
I'll tell you one thing
its always better when we're together Better Together -Jack Johnson -

Everytime I see your face
Everytime you look my way
Its like it all falls into place
Everything feels right - Everytime - Simple Plan

But you're so busy changing the world
Just one smile can change all of mine
We share the same soul - Angel - Jack Johnson

A whole new world
A new fantastic point of view
No one to tell us no
Or where to go
Or say we're only dreaming - A Whole New World

2009年1月28日 星期三

Good Luck

新一年有一個新開始. 可以進步的事情多很.
可以做的事情也是數之不盡. 但是時間真的太少了.
半年就這樣過去了.
大學的生活太自由了. 對於習慣隨心所欲的我, 我很喜歡這種自由生活.
太多不一樣的看法,太多不一樣的選擇了.
當中有不少是為了別人的期望而做的.
我相信未來出來社會工作,可能有更多他人的期望要應付.也是要去應付的
早點在現在去學會如何平衡也是一件好事.
可是我相信只有這一年才可真真正正隨心所欲而不必有嚴重的後果.
他日出來工作, 隨心所欲可能會比老闆炒魷魚
他日出來工作, 隨心所欲也可能給朋友,家人,老婆造成麻煩.
而現在隨心所欲卻不必有很大很嚴重的後果,最多得來別人一兩句批評了吧

某程度的向現實折衷,應該是成熟的表現吧 ?
真的是嗎 ?

小心嚴謹有條理注重細節循規蹈矩都不是我的強項.
而且這些都不是一時間可以完成改變.
每一個人都有要進步的地方,有些人比較利害,很早就發現了自己的局限
所以老早就作出改變,到了今天就經已有一定的成績.

I know I have to pursue many goals and creates lots great works this year.
But before finding what truly rewarding and give a full throttle to that direction
We are leaning how to accept and appreciate your own personal situations.

Accept your first semster GPA.
Aceept your past wring doings.
Accept your past decisions made.
Accept your " Not SuperStar " Outlook.
Accept not you cannot play any music at all , except sing K.

I know one day , my friend ,
All of your good things will be disclosed and being appreciated and be understood
Let's have a very good beginning for the New Year .

YEAH YEAH YEAH

2009年1月18日 星期日

成就

"我所讀的科不是自己最有興趣的.
我也沒有交流的念頭.發了狂的讀書考好成績不是自己的需要.
我相信大學是完成自己,找到自己定位的地方.
大學是讓自己和其他人交流的地方
自己要好好利用大學有的資源去做自己想做的事." - 十一月二十三日文字其中一段

成績出了.差得要命.暫時所知.於 HKU 的中學同學只有我一個不過三.
算了.總算做到了自己在之前說過的話.
考得好是一種成就,是絕對公平的.
原本自己的成績都可以接受,不過太多考得好的同學.
一堂都沒走過 , 留心聽書.
與他們杷比相比,他們的嚴謹程度太強了.
我想我的頭腦是經不起過嚴謹分析,拆解.
所以寫下的東西給批改時就會錯誤百出.這也是高考收了的原因.
我不是有邏輯的人. 但上年的科要的就是邏輯. 自己出來的成績可想而知.

一個人的能力就可能是濃縮在一個小小的數字上.

不理了.不想只選好 Grade 的科.不想浪費大學的資源.
今年選了一個 Soci 的 course ,興趣所在 , 所以不理Grade 的高低
繼續讀想讀的 Course,做自己有興趣的事.
莊又不上 , Hall 又不住, 書讀不好.

算了,繼續努力好了.