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After years of years , reading and trying to improve yourself ,
So when something new come , I can face it with a mych mature way .
No more stupid sadness , No more stupid frustration ,
No more emotional explosion ,
But why why why , after years of changing and finding new experiences
I still met back that self which I do not want to see .
That stupid timid self . That fearful self .
I know myself , but why why why .
Why Why Why ?
I wonder. Just a little thing reminding the past and I was back .
All sense of inferority is back.
I can no longer face it with the superme confidence .
I fall back to my emotional indulgence which I so afraid to be back .
I keep going . I learn from the past . I seize the day .
But why will it come to me again .
Why ?

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Depressed .
Why everything is about adaptability , whether you can fit in to the environment ?
Why don't we question whether it is good or bad before we start to do it ?
Emotions craving .
Idol whoshipping .
Nothing more. Tell me how to escape the mental prison .