Contradiction

Something better left unsaid .
The world is a place where senses determine almost everything !
The majority is a gathering for unconscious being and thoughts which no intensity of passions can be found !
The beautiful intelligent world is out there waiting to be discovered , however , they are all striving for power, to be the elites by winning competitions !
Humanity is lost because we all aspire to be the best machine we can , consume as many as products because we related to them !

Those who disagree will believe I am mourning here which is the sound of weakness !
You wait for your sensuous hero !
You conscious are different from your heart ! Your emotions are get hold not by intelligence but senses ! Impressions rule , Senses rules !

Wisdom is alienated in the world of senses !
You are preaching with nothing , the world said to me .
However I said no ! You cannot go through the world with individuality doesn't mean I can put my personality inside the world for possibility !
Law , Medicine , JP Morgan , Goldman Sachs , you are what the world wants !
However , please do not diagreee with me for I pursue something , wisdom , sensous pleasure , beauty , virtues , humanity , they are what is happiness to me !
Asthetics will be my appearance for making the difference !
Dandy rules ! Rake rules !
Surrounding myself with good music , with my acoustic guitar , ear listening to Muse , I am ready for ruling the world with the asthetic displeasing !
I will have my David Hume , Michek de Montagine , Sartre where you think they are shit !
The crowds need something new beside Iphone , constant chases of techology which will never fulfill their hearts !
You kiss , you have sex , you get sensous pleasure but will never compare to the joy of personality !
Life is given and I am going to discover as many as I can ! Say it ! Demonstrate it ! Observe it ! Use your power when neccesary where people will be appreciated ! Never stop your mission by mere disapproval of people !
Never break down the obstacles where ist can build a stronger intensity of love !
Submission , make others submit by your superiority where it is unbeatable !
Glasses determine your wisdom , no worries of the outside !
You are going to amend them and the grace is yours

Shiller ! Goethe !

Be strong

Understand is one thing.

Able to be strong and be creative is another thing .

So what it is now ?

I read many classics book year . Hoping to find something really give you happiness and enjoyment. However , when I looked back my photos again . I see my faces and I do not feel happy about my superficial look . My pimples , my hairstyle , my body shape , my eyes , my every parts in my body . I gained superiority of mind in the expense of the physical attractiveness. It is time to reverse .
You have to appeal good despite what is inside. The eyes. The hair . Your shoulder . Physical endurance is what I need .
Sometimes frustration not lie in the mind, it lies in the health status .
It is time . 22 , not too old for a change.

Back

After years of years , reading and trying to improve yourself ,
So when something new come , I can face it with a mych mature way .
No more stupid sadness , No more stupid frustration ,
No more emotional explosion ,
But why why why , after years of changing and finding new experiences
I still met back that self which I do not want to see .
That stupid timid self . That fearful self .
I know myself , but why why why .
Why Why Why ?
I wonder. Just a little thing reminding the past and I was back .
All sense of inferority is back.
I can no longer face it with the superme confidence .
I fall back to my emotional indulgence which I so afraid to be back .
I keep going . I learn from the past . I seize the day .
But why will it come to me again .
Why ?

.

Depressed .
Why everything is about adaptability , whether you can fit in to the environment ?
Why don't we question whether it is good or bad before we start to do it ?
Emotions craving .
Idol whoshipping .
Nothing more. Tell me how to escape the mental prison .

Frustrations three - Love

Love is irrational.
Love is emotional.
Love is everything .
Love is too big and too sacred to be discussed.
Love is the last gift for all people suffering from harsh reality.
So we should let it be .

But sometimes , this may not be the case .
Some people settled with the one who is easy to be with .
Some people chosen someone who is easy to be manipulated .
They said love should make people feel comfortable .
So what is comfortable ?
That is vanity-satisfying and you do not need to work and do much .

For some , love is the best entertainment .
For some , love is a serious matter .

When people who want to be entertained meet some serious one ,
The serious one will defintely be recognized as a boring moron or girl.

When people are entertained but hurt at last,
They want those serious one back , but those serious one may turned into an entertainer because they think serious would be a bad attribute.

That is fucking rediculus as I have met so many these kind of situations again and again from friends' stories.

However , those quite girls or boys will tend to fall in live with entertainers,
because they think they find passions they have never have .
So what will be at last ?
Being played.
That is what makes people don't get serious about love , because they don't want to be hurted.
Where are all your confidence ? You lost it when you started not to be different ?

Frustrations Two

The real knowledge can always be possesed by very few .
Some people do really tell me what is correct, what is right . They really inspire me .
But sometimes , some people are coming and telling me what to do with my life .
It is weird .
I know myself well and you are giving me advises which pushes me to do so .
It is horrible.
I always think for myself . I read . I met new people .
You come along and giving me your advises not tailored for me but just mere general suggestions which could applied by all , I thought you are already stopped to be able to see the difference in people, and that is sad.